When my mom reads this story every year, I am reminded that all is well, myself. Why? Well first, it’s a beautiful story. But it’s also in part because traditions provide both stability and belonging to the observers.

Stability is developed out of the predictable nature of tradition. When a child knows exactly what is going to happen every year, how it will take place, and what their role will be, it removes some of the chaos from their world. They know what to expect and how they feel about it in advance. The foreknowledge brings peace, and empowers children to enjoy an otherwise unpredictable season.

Belonging is developed out of the communal sacredness of tradition. Essentially, traditions are private rituals, and members of the participating group have a particularly special, shared experience from performing the ritual together. Engaging a child in structured tradition gives them a history and bond with one another, and with you. In this way, traditions create a sense of family and belonging.

When All Is Well is read, I know that it comes right before bed, and that my mom will give the characters fun voices, and show the pictures. I also remember years with my family when we struggled just like little Jenny, but that book brought us together at the end of the year. It is stability and belonging.

In Chapala, Mexico, director Anabel Frutos of Love in Action Children’s Home observes specific traditions with her kids. For over a decade, Christmas Eve has been spent around an evening bonfire. Caregivers afford older kids the opportunity to stoke the fire and add wood, while everyone warms themselves by the flames, laughing and sharing stories.

Traditions, whether complex or simple, are those long-standing activities or customs that we ritualistically perform every year. It might be a song sung together, or the reading of scripture, or decorating a Christmas tree together. It might have deep, spiritual meaning. It might just be something fun that everyone looks forward to each year. But it is these traditions that shape family history, and keep families united from generation to generation.

Recent research actually demonstrates that families who keep traditions are actually happier! In his article for Scientific American, Matthew Hutson writes, “Those who said they performed collective rituals, compared with those who said they did not, felt closer to their families, which made the holidays more interesting, which in turn made them more enjoyable.” Further, the type of ritual performed appears to have no bearing in the equation, but the mere fact that a family has a ritual to keep together seems to bring joy.

Never was I made more aware of the familial core of our end-of-the-year celebrations than when I began working in a children’s home. Our kids become acutely aware of what they do not have during “the most wonderful time of the year.” Although they long, spirit and soul, for family connections every day, I have noticed that Christmas becomes a particular source of frustration and sorrow for them.

How do we help them through this?

Because celebrating Christmas at an orphanage seems to be emotionally complicated for our kids, there may be a temptation to down-play the festivities. But while we cannot give them what they truly desire (by faith, only for the time being), there are things we can do to have FUN, and remind them that they are truly loved, incredibly blessed, and have an adopted family in our community.

One of the best ways to accomplish this at an orphanage is by creating and maintaining traditions.

Traditions, whether complex or simple, are those long-standing activities or customs that we ritualistically perform every year. It might be a song sung together, or the reading of scripture, or decorating a Christmas tree together. It might have deep, spiritual meaning. It might just be something fun that everyone looks forward to each year. But it is these traditions that shape family history, and keep families united from generation to generation.